Thrissur 4

What is the first thing that I remember about me? It is a very difficult task putting it down since it always collides with what you were told about your days as a baby. The effort here is to put away the stuff that was told/imagined from stories/seen in photos and figure out only those realities, which glimpse through memory. Getting straight into the mind of a Kid:)

Alright, the first shot I remember about me is sitting in a verandah of an old house with some people around. I can still remember the place with big “muttam”. That’s all what I can recall of that place. Now I know that it was my father’s tharavadu.

The second shot is again at a house with a big “muttam”. My sister’s school bus used to stop right in front of that house. I remember her walking out from that bus and giving me a sweet. Later I was told that I was suffering from pneumonia then. My sister was staying at my uncle’s house since she should not get the sickness from me. Still she got down that day to meet me to give me choclate. Sweet sister! Sadly she caught up with the disease soon.

What were the first shots of my father and mother? No pictures until we shifted to our own house!!! Very bad.I think I remember Acha coming back from office and telling me he has got me admission in a school.

I faintly remember our house warming ceremony. Very feeble pictures. I remember “meemi” feeding me food sitting at the back of our new house. She used to tell me stories of kings, skies and paradises! Meemi took care of me till I went to school during daytime since my parents were both working. I remember her having constant fights with “kochu govindan chettan” who was another person looking after me. My grand mother was living with us then. I remember “meemi” fighting with her regularly as well.

I remember my cousin Unnis birthday. I must be 3 then. It was a grand function. I remember my ever favorite mema getting married. One day I heard that one guy came to see her and the marriage is fixed and she is crying. I felt marriage was something bad to happen. I saw mema that evening and she was smiling like a flower.That made me all confused. .Someone must have made up that news .I was sad that she was leaving me.She was my teacher at home till then. I did not feel like asking her anything about it.

Baiju was my best friend at home. I see throwing a ball at the verandah in my house and trying to catch it with him. Don’t remember when I saw him first. We still remain neighbors in Thrissur and good friends.

I remember sitting in the school and looking at Amma who was watching me from outside. It must be my first day at school.Amma told me I stopped crying when she showed me a banana from outside!!

No specific pictures of LKG.I remember the classroom though. I faintly remember learning alphabets. In UKG the teacher asked us to draw something. I had no clue what to draw and just scribbled something. Teacher inspected it and found it was a dog climbing up a mountain! I remember trying hard to recite “Jack and Jill” and failing. I remember I used to get marks for my exams in my slate and I couldn’t figure it whether it was a good mark or a bad one!

I remember wondering at the intelligence of my bigger cousins when they could easily figure out lion and tiger just looking at the pictures. I was really having a hard time to get their English names correctly!

I can feel the terrible pain in my hands when our neighbor Kurien uncle tried to pick me up. Everyone was scared that my hand broke. By the time they took me to the mission hospital I was alright!We never went inside the hospital. My father bought me an ice cream on our way back.

I remember a big snake that was inside a birdcage at home in my neighbourhood. It was a “Perumpapu”. I really enjoyed the process of catching it.

I remember a shooting that was happening in my house. I would like to believe I saw this bearded guy there. It was Padmarajan who was shooting his movie Idavela.

I liked the teacher who taught me in 1st standard. It came close to a crush I suppose.

I forgot to take money for a movie show that was planned from school. Entire class went to see Beautiful People. I was left alone in the class with a handful of friends. I had seen the movie already as it was playing at a theater next to my house but still I felt sad.

There was a torn 20 Rupee note in my bag. A friend of mine liked it very much and he tore it to further pieces and flew it through the classroom window. My mother was furious to hear it! I think this was in my 2nd standard.

I remember taking snaps with my grand mother. I remember her death. I wondered seeing “meemi” crying so loudly at her demise. I had always seen her fighting with my grand mother before. I saw a big crowd at the house that day.

I remember playing caroms with my grand father. The striker always hit his fingers but he never felt any pain! He was an acute diabetes patient. There was a huge crowd at my grand fathers death too. I was taken from my school early and was never told about it until we reached the tharavadu. I saw picture and news of his death in Indian express next day. After his funeral I remember looking at his ashes from the balcony of tharavadu. One distant uncle was picking up something and telling someone “this is athmavu”

Even before that I remember my grandfather crying when one of his relative came to see him. The relative was terribly sick or something. But my grandfather passed away first. Fate! I remember the barber who used to come to shave my grand father daily. It was a sight!

I remember Anapappan Narayanan.He was killed by his elephant in front of my little eyes. Whenever I went upstairs of my house he used to scare me for many years.

I remember walking with my cousins to buy poompatta,balarama,bala mangalam etc. I remember seeing TV for the first time. I wondered how nazir and jayan could shrink to such a small screen! What was the first movie I saw? I remember seeing padayottam. Was that the first one?

We regularly went to malampuzha and tippus fort for excursion from school. I remember walking through the “Noolppalam”,witnessing tippus hideout and eating chicken biriyani for 5 Rs.Thrissur Zoo was just opposite our school but we only went there once.

My best friends till 4th standard in school were Emil and Sony. I haven’t met Sony ever since. I met Emil during my engineering when he joined me as a junior. I used to water the garden with Emil in the evenings since we were taking 2nd trip in school bus. The father used to give us a green toffee each for the hard work. One day he recruited a gardener. The toffees stopped!

I don’t remember my last day at Holy Family LP School. Boys were only allowed there till 4th standard. I don’t even remember if I was a good student. The 1st rank holder in class was made the class leader by default. I remember a girl who was 1st wrote down the names of many boys including me for speaking in the class when the teacher was not there. We were all made to stand at the back. I was angry and told my friends that I will come 1st next time and will write down her name.

I remember the assembly, the kallan police games, boastings, lies..

It feels special when I pass through the school even today. I feel the same when I pass by Don Bosco and St Thomas as well.

Good old days..

I want to make a movie titled “Thrissur-4” someday-A sweet and cute movie about childhood,boyhood and dreams...

Cant wait to watch it!:

Brother James Pathiyil

Infact I should call him Reverend Father James Pathiyil.Starting his life as a Don Bosco brother he had travelled far in life.But I met him as “Brother” and he remains one of my closest acquaintances.

Brother taught me English when I was in my 7th standard at Don Bosco High School,Mannuthy.I was an average student, not special at anything, reserved and shy.I remember the first time Brother noticed me in class was when there was a prank played on a classmate.The entire class laughed at him and I was the only one serious,not smiling and having sympathy for the guy.He called me after the class and that was the first time I talked to a teacher personally.

The second time was on a morning before school.I was rushing to my class after getting down from the school bus.Brother was like waiting for me near the boarding.He only asked what was my rank in the class for that midterm. I said 9 and he said ok.I went to class and he went back to the boarding.

As days passed we started interacting more.We went for a walk together when he came for some meeting which was happening near my house.We talked about lot of things that day.I showed him my house but somehow did not feel like inviting him in.

He taught me hardly for 6 months.He came in the place of a teacher who had left us midway through the year.The scholastic year was coming to a close.On the last day of school Brother invited me to his room in the boarding.He presented me with a greeting card and a Five star chocolate.That was the first present I was receiving from someone elder as him.

During my vacation that year I got a call from Brother.He said he was leaving for Calcutta.He said he may not be back till I finish my school.He asked whether I would come to the railway station to see him off.I was confused what to tell him as that was the first time I was talking to a teacher on phone.I think I said I will try to come.But I never went.It was not because I was sad to see him off.I did not feel like going.Maybe I did not had the attachment he had for me.

I almost forgot him and lived through my happy vacation days.The school reopened and I joined another school.The new school was full of strikes and less academics.It was another strike day that I received a letter at my home.That was the first letter I was receiving and I was anxious and excited about reading it.The back side of the letter said Bro.James Pathiyil.He was in Siliguri and wanted to keep in touch with me.I wrote him back describing how I hated my new school.That was the first letter I was writing to someone.He wrote me back asking me to keep faith and believe that everything was happening for good.

After a month at the new school my parents enrolled me back to Don Bosco.I was happy to go back to my old friends. I wrote to brother happily about my return to Don Bosco.He wrote me back saying I should realize that I am blessed with such wonderful parents who take such pains for me.That actually was new light for me.I had not thought about my parents transparently till then.

Letters continued from Siliguri in the years to follow.Every one of them has something new to learn for me.He sent me greeting cards on Christmas and New year regularly.For my birthday he sent self designed cards made specially for me.He made the small kid in me feel important.He urged me to study and top the class from being one among others.He urged me to write when I felt there was a writer in me.He urged me to take up leadership roles.He urged me to play and enjoy life at its fullest.

I promptly replied to every letter of him.It was like I wanted to make achievements to tell him about it every time I wrote to him.I improved tremendously in my studies and started topping my class by the time I reached 9th standard.I started winning prizes writing stories and poetry.I started taking up roles of class leader,bus leader,house leader etc.He was infact my dearest friend all through those years we never met.

I was in my 10th standard and it was one of the happiest days in my school.My teachers had awarded me with the “favorite student” prize.The principal announced that in the assembly along with the list of prizes I had won that year.That day afternoon I was wanted at principals office.Waiting there for me was Brother James.He had just arrived for a brief stay there.

The first thing I felt meeting him was that he was a couple of hours late.He should have been there for the morning assembly to hear out my achievements-The same selfish me!! He came with me to town in the school bus that evening.He suggested we got down in town and walked.I obliged.We walked all through Thrissur town that evening.He gave one Rupee each to every begger he saw on the road.We talked and walked till he reached his church.We parted again.

I joined college after my school.We wrote to each other all through my predegree days..I wrote about my fears of being transformed into a bad human being.He replied that was only part of life.One day he sent an interesting letter.It said he was about to die as there was a predicted earthquake in siliguri.He posted the letter in advance fearing he might not be able to reach me again.The letter talked about about a man facing death.It did not scare me as I had received another letter from him couple of days before saying the earthquake never happened and he was fine!I found close to death we all become very very basic.It was important to live your life to its fullest.

The letters continued all through the 4 years I did engineering.I was in a hostel for the first time in my life.I gained new friends and experiences.The intensity of my relationship with Brother reduced..But his letters and greetings continued from Rome,Italy and different parts of the globe.He was travelling during those days.I wrote to him about the way the world of movies had started fascinating me.He reminded me in every letter how proud he was of me.I somehow couldn’t tell him how indebted I was to him for shaping me into a better person.

We met for the last time when I was doing my 3rd year Engineering.He had come to Thrissur for a seminar.This time we did not walk.I drove him through the city.I talked nonstop stupidity about big dreams and fake pholisophy.He talked a lot about humility and how important it was to lead a simple life.We parted for the last time.

He wrote to pay him a visit to Calcutta since I was free after completing my Engineering.He was working with the street children there on a rehabilitation project.He said all his kids there wanted to meet me.I promised him I will come as soon as I could find time.

Those days were tough for me.I was facing the real world for the first time.I had always lived in my world of dreams.It was tough,depressing,shallow times as dreams gave way to harsh realities.Nothing was what it seemed.Nothing was easy.Coping up with realities took more time than imagined and I could never make that trip to Calcutta.

It was time to get practical.I decided to give dreams some rest and took up an engineering job.I had some time before joining.I wrote to brother about how I had come down to earth and expressed my wish to visit him and his kids in Calcutta.

For the first time in 10 years there was no reply from him.I wrote to him again after I joined work.There was again no reply.I kept writing to him for an year without any replies.No designed greeting card came for my 22nd Birthday.I knew something was wrong and in my next letter I kept my email id.

Couple of weeks later I received a mail from a Bishop.It said Father James Pathiyil passed away one year back.It was an accident.He was trying to photograph the church from a top angle and somehow lost balance.They received all my letters but since I was not writing my address in it there were unable to get back to me.

I remember it was an evening.I was sitting in my office reading that mail.

I remember I cried.